I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
please don't ironically join a cult
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