Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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