epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
