just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
