I can't watch pbs sober anymore
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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