I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This is my gift to your gina
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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