WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
