so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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