Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
