I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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