Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think my fart just growled at me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
