just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize