My girlfriend figured out who you are.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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