"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize