careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
