yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
