Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
