drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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