Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
50% drunk capacity currently
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
