its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize