How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
