I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
