I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
