omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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