How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
