so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
