I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
