I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
