wat bout pragnant strippers??
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
