if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
