I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
