And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Randomize
