Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We have started to decorate penises.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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