It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
