Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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