He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
