Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
