Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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