I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize