Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
