normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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