You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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