I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
