She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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