I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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