I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
