Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
