the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
