Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
