I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
