I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
