R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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