peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
