If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
