I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
