she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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