Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
