You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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