Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
