I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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